I do not enjoy being house-bound. I miss my coworkers. I miss being busy at work. I miss going to the store. I miss fast food. I miss just going into the kitchen, cooking something and carrying it to the living room!
I've been exercising my leg, flexing and stretching to get that scar tissue moving. I get the knee moving easily for about 15 minutes, then an hour later I have to start all over again. And I mean start all over again. It's like I never even stretched it at the first. I am sure the flexibility is much improved from when I first flexed it, but it's all relative to me. I only know it is stiff once again and I get to stretch it once more.
The STD (Short-Term Disability) provider called yesterday and they are anxious for me to get back to work. Oh, I know. They want to spend as little of their money as necessary. But geez! They have already bumped my 'back to work' date up by a week. I'm a bit frazzled. That's next Monday! I called and talked to the PA (Physician's Assistant) who is working with me and talked to her about all this. If I were out having another baby I would know what to expect and when I'd be able to go back to work and how my body would be feeling, but this is all new. I certainly don't want to experience a leave of absence due to this, or any other, cancer more than once.
Naturally, the PA was a bit miffed; not with me but with the STD provider. The doctors determine when I can return, not the STD providers. And I'm good with that! But I do know working would help me not only financially but also mentally. The surgeon's office is good with me going back to work part-time. They - and I - want to be sure this leg heals properly and the radiation and physical affects are handled properly. Granted, I won't have to suffer the side effects of Chemotherapy, but dayum! We're talking about my leg here! And I want to be as mobile as I can be after all this is said and done! And from what I understand, there is more, lots more, scar tissue to come.
So, it looks like I'll be heading back to work part-time on Monday - from home. I already talked to my boss and I'll be provided with a company laptop so I can work 4 hours a day at home. That works for me! I can't drive. My place of employment is 20 miles/40 minutes from home. My husband works about 15 miles from home, and to get him to cart me around for work - and then to add daily radiation on top of that - is a lot. When I say a lot, I mean a lot in respect to his time away from work, gas, impact on the truck, etc. etc. But before it's official, we have to get the paperwork lined up, signed and submitted. And I'll be doing that tomorrow.
I have to admit that I am a bit apprehensive. I am afraid that working from home will hinder my ability to contribute to the workload. I mean, I'm a lead developer on a current project. There's a lot of research and design to get done. Will I be as productive at home as I am in the workplace? I hope so! I have to be! Not only that, but when radiation begins, will I need more time off to handle any ill effects?
As for the radiation, I found out Tuesday that my simulation (otherwise called 'fitting') is scheduled for September 6; week after next. I will be getting an IV contrast CT scan which will pinpoint where the radiation will be applied. Another IV. Ugh. But once that's done, I can start the radiation. And the sooner the better! But then that leads to more questions. How do I pay for this? Will I have a copay every day? Do I have to pre-pay? What if I don't have the funds? Can I still get the radiation?
This all bites. But it's all in the present. Ten years from now I'll look back and understand how much of this didnt need all the stress I'm creating for myself. But for now, since I don't know, and I don't know what or how to ask my questions, this is where I am.
So, today, I am a bit pensive. I hope my mood improves with the coming weekend - as long as I don't go stir-crazy from cabin fever!
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