Whoo! The last day I truly had clean hair was last Wednesday when I went in for surgery. The hospital had these shower caps that had liquid soap so you could wash your hair - sort of. I used one in the hospital and one at home. They helped, but my hair was still so greasy. So, Mom and Dad treated me to a wash, cut and blow-dry today at Hair Cuttery. It was HEAVEN! My hair is now in a bob and I love it! The girl who took care of me was wonderful. She's broken her tibia, wrist, and all sorts of other bones, and she knows first-hand how hard it is to wash your hair and not get wet. I loved her hair too. She had temporary hair dyes layered in a rainbow. I know it sounds, um, loud, but it was actually very pretty. Now I wonder if I'm still young enough for purple hair!
Since today was Monday, I also had to schedule some appointments. First I tried Radiology. But they were missing some paperwork from the surgeon. The surgeon's office called and said it would be tomorrow before it would be straightened out. Then, I called for a follow-up appointment with the surgeon. That is Thursday. Naturally, he'll be looking at my leg making sure it is healing properly. The sutures are dissolvable, so thankfully I don't have to get anything else cut away from my leg. I am also assuming he will have the pathology results from the second lab. See, pathology couldn't determine what the tumor was during surgery, so they had to send it to the lab for a more extensive study. That took 2-3 days. Then, I guess because the tumor is rare, they sent it to another lab for a follow-up. And I am assuming that will confirm what the first lab determined. What I hope and pray is that the secondary findings are just a good as the primary findings.
You may be asking why I use 'good' to describe the findings. Well, research has found that a positive attitude is very important, almost critical, to a swift and healthy recovery with fewer relapses. So, though some may choose to view the findings in a less than positive light, I choose to accept them as a new learning experience in my life. The findings could have been worse. Much worse. But they weren't. And I want it to continue to be that way. Yes, I get nervous thinking Dr. Berrey will say their initial findings were incorrect. But they may in fact be - to my benefit. And that is how I must approach this. God has given me a swift kick in the bloomers and I am making sure I get back on the path He has chosen for me. Though I can't see the path (other than a few days ahead), I know it is ok.
I can only convey my trust with a story. Back in 2002 I was 3 days from giving birth to my third child. I went to the last appointment before the scheduled C-Section full of hope and joy. I left bereft. My, Rufus's and my, son had died in utero, at term. At 7:30 PM that night I gave birth to Rufus Hamons Jenkins III. He was 5.75 lbs, 19" long, beautiful, and stillborn. Honestly, I don't remember much of how I made it through the next week - in the hospital, consoling friends and family - my two older children, my husband, planning a memorial service. But I know how I made it through the heartwrenching body-wracking grief, the ocean of tears. It was Grace. God's Grace. I never truly understood the definition or meaning of grace until Baby Rufus died. The only way I can describe it is it was as if I was enveloped in God's hands and the love and sorrow flowed in between His fingers and mingled with the grief to form a protective blanket through which nothing hurtful or petty penetrated. And at the end of the evening of Baby Rufus's memorial service, when I could smile and thank those who had come, I knew Grace had seen me through.
And again, in my time of great need, I feel the presence of God's Grace. And I am so thankful that I have a belief system that permits me hope in that which I cannot see. It, the Trinity, is my Rock.
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