Tis the season to be thankful! And I am! I am thankful for my health, my family, a roof over my head, and my wonderful, wonderful coworkers and friends who have helped me through this tough period. Because of my coworkers, my family will have a more than bountiful Thanksgiving with plenty to last a week or more. And because of them, too, we are able to pay some late bills and purchase some Christmas gifts for our children.
The knee continues to heal incredibly quickly and well. I am confident I will be given the all-clear to return to work in December. The only concern I have now is a small swollen area just above my right ankle, above the Achilles Tendon. It is soft and in the the tendon area. When I showed it to the orthopedic oncologist, he agreed to include it in the next MRI. But as that is a few months away, I am going to see if they will consent to an MRI before year-end. Let's do it when I've already met my deductible!
Have a happy Thanksgiving, and stay safe!
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Sunday, November 20, 2011
The Knee is (finally) Healing!
Another week down and another week closer to getting back to work and a "normal life". A coworker contacted me about 10 days ago and asked if I'd be interested in a visit. This coworker is knowledgeable in the healing art of Reiki and is gifted in the art of healing, and if I was open to it they would like to visit and see if it could help with the healing. Remember, my leg was in one heck of a poor state - swollen, red, painful, oozing, etc. This coworker made it clear that any healing is not because of them but that they are a conduit for the gift of God. Me? I believe God apportions his gifts wisely (duh), and if we as humans use His gifts wisely we all benefit. So, yes, I am open
The coworker wasn't able to make it last weekend but prayed daily in their own special way. They came by this weekend and spent an hour working on my knee. That and the prayers from friends, family and coworkers alike have made a significant impression on the knee. It is incredible the difference 10 days have made. My leg is almost unrecognizable from a week ago.
The healing continues inside. I still walk slowly, the fatigue is still significant, and there is some new pain in the part of the leg where sensation is finally coming back. So, I am embarking on a new routine. At least I hope to embark on it. It will take self-control and fortitude. What I want to do is this:
Enjoy!
The coworker wasn't able to make it last weekend but prayed daily in their own special way. They came by this weekend and spent an hour working on my knee. That and the prayers from friends, family and coworkers alike have made a significant impression on the knee. It is incredible the difference 10 days have made. My leg is almost unrecognizable from a week ago.
The healing continues inside. I still walk slowly, the fatigue is still significant, and there is some new pain in the part of the leg where sensation is finally coming back. So, I am embarking on a new routine. At least I hope to embark on it. It will take self-control and fortitude. What I want to do is this:
- Start taking multi-vitamins and fish oil
- Sleep no more than 9 hours a night
- When Gabe leaves for school, stay up, shower, eat breakfast, walk the dog and get started on work by 9-10AM
- Finish my half-day by 2PM
- Clean for 1 hour
- Work on those items on my bucket list that I can at this time
- Take a 90 minute nap but only if I need to
Enjoy!
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Another Saturday, Another Post
If you read my last post you know that I am still working part-time and from home. And you know that I was seriously bummed. Well, it's been a week, and I am so not bummed anymore! Two days after my last appointment my leg started undergoing excruciatingly painful changes. The day after I wrote my last post I had to call and ask for an increase in the pain meds dosage. It was like my knee suddenly burst into flame. Poorly stated but truly appropriate. The radiated part puffed up, turned fiery red, and started blistering; scar line included. Per doctor's instructions, flex and stretch, flex and stretch. But it changed into flex, moan, hold, stretch, moan, hold; flex, moan, wince, gasp, stretch, moan, wince, gasp. And all the while the irradiated skin bends, cracks open, oozes, bleeds (in places), and folds upon itself. Yup really, really disgusting. Try looking at it every day. I carry gauze pads around so I can wipe up the mess periodically. And I wonder if there will be scarring from the radiation burns, let alone the surgery.
Nothing touches the leg except for my Silvadene cream (which needs to be refilled), gauze pads, and the cotton of my bed sheets - and those only when I'm in a deep sleep. The weather here in balmy Florida is now cooling off and it's a pleasant 45 degrees Fahrenheit at night with a wonderful 67 degrees during the day. And what am I wearing? Shorts. Was it MC Hammer who sang 'Can't Touch This?' Well, that's why I'm wearing shorts. Can't touch the knee. Even the whisper of the cat's tail sends me into spasms of pain.
As a result, I am once again very much house-bound. I am very self-conscious of the visible healing process on the leg, and I do not enjoy subjecting myself to the stares and once-agains that follow me when I'm out in public. If I have to go out either someone goes with me so they can go in, or I use a drive-thru. And if I have to go in myself, it's in-n-out. Even my family stares. I know they mean well, but it's disconcerting when I'm sitting on the couch and DH comes by and scrutinizes the knee. "What are you looking at," I ask. And he responds with "Nothing. Nothing." Then when I comment that the knee looks pretty gnarly, he replies with a "No, it doesn't look that bad." Yeah, right.
Not that all is so bad. There is some news. Now that my leg officially glows in the dark, I know it is well on its way to healing. That and parts of it itches like crazy. Another sign of healing. And I had a frank conversation with the PA at the Oncologist's office explaining that FMLA will only cover me through mid-December. So, I have an appointment on December 8. And if the skin has healed enough, then I may, may, get to go back in the workplace. I would be thrilled if I could go in even a few hours a week. Because then I could acclimate myself back to working full-time in the workplace. So, I am taking every precaution to keeping the leg flexible, covered in Silvadene, and leaving it alone.
The last bit is important. I have a tendency to pick at scabs, blisters and the like. So, leaving this glaring wound alone is an extreme test of my self-control. And so far I like to think I'm doing pretty well. I shower only 2-3 times a week. It is with a mixture of longing and dread that I shower. I so want to get clean, wash my hair, etc. But at the same time I dread the water pressing on my leg and then getting out of the shower and trying hard to dab the leg and not swipe the scabs off the leg. It's a constant battle. Sometimes self-control wins and sometimes it loses.
But at the end of the day, the leg is healing. And that is what matters. No more pics of the leg. I prefer to keep them to myself. Instead, a pic of my son and his two Alex Angels getting ready to go to the Homecoming Dance. Beautiful girls, handsome young man, proud mama, embarrassed son!
Nothing touches the leg except for my Silvadene cream (which needs to be refilled), gauze pads, and the cotton of my bed sheets - and those only when I'm in a deep sleep. The weather here in balmy Florida is now cooling off and it's a pleasant 45 degrees Fahrenheit at night with a wonderful 67 degrees during the day. And what am I wearing? Shorts. Was it MC Hammer who sang 'Can't Touch This?' Well, that's why I'm wearing shorts. Can't touch the knee. Even the whisper of the cat's tail sends me into spasms of pain.
As a result, I am once again very much house-bound. I am very self-conscious of the visible healing process on the leg, and I do not enjoy subjecting myself to the stares and once-agains that follow me when I'm out in public. If I have to go out either someone goes with me so they can go in, or I use a drive-thru. And if I have to go in myself, it's in-n-out. Even my family stares. I know they mean well, but it's disconcerting when I'm sitting on the couch and DH comes by and scrutinizes the knee. "What are you looking at," I ask. And he responds with "Nothing. Nothing." Then when I comment that the knee looks pretty gnarly, he replies with a "No, it doesn't look that bad." Yeah, right.
Not that all is so bad. There is some news. Now that my leg officially glows in the dark, I know it is well on its way to healing. That and parts of it itches like crazy. Another sign of healing. And I had a frank conversation with the PA at the Oncologist's office explaining that FMLA will only cover me through mid-December. So, I have an appointment on December 8. And if the skin has healed enough, then I may, may, get to go back in the workplace. I would be thrilled if I could go in even a few hours a week. Because then I could acclimate myself back to working full-time in the workplace. So, I am taking every precaution to keeping the leg flexible, covered in Silvadene, and leaving it alone.
The last bit is important. I have a tendency to pick at scabs, blisters and the like. So, leaving this glaring wound alone is an extreme test of my self-control. And so far I like to think I'm doing pretty well. I shower only 2-3 times a week. It is with a mixture of longing and dread that I shower. I so want to get clean, wash my hair, etc. But at the same time I dread the water pressing on my leg and then getting out of the shower and trying hard to dab the leg and not swipe the scabs off the leg. It's a constant battle. Sometimes self-control wins and sometimes it loses.
But at the end of the day, the leg is healing. And that is what matters. No more pics of the leg. I prefer to keep them to myself. Instead, a pic of my son and his two Alex Angels getting ready to go to the Homecoming Dance. Beautiful girls, handsome young man, proud mama, embarrassed son!
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Still House Bound
And a happy Saturday to you, too!
It's one of those days where I don't really feel like writing a post but I really kinda want to. Thus, it's a conundrum day. Had the first good night's sleep in two weeks. I actually woke up sans the alarm clock. Thing was, I took some painkillers to deaden the knee pain and dozed off for another three hours. Oh well! At least I'm in a better mood today.
I saw Dr. Berrey Thursday. And I finally figured out that he's an Orthopedic Oncologist. On the whole, the appointment went well, but there were a few bummer moments. On the plus side, I got a chest x-ray, which came out clean. Whew! There are always a few tense moments when there is the possibility of a lung lesion. More so because my family history is fraught with lung issues - lung cancer, emphysema, collapsed lungs, asthma, and so on.
I met with a new intern, Dr. Puffin. Why is it that all male interns are drop dead gorgeous? I mean, Dr. Berrey, though in his late 50's is good looking himself. But he seems to get the serious eye candy interns. So, Dr. Puffin goes over my record. I regale him with what's been going on since radiation treatments were done, and I pass on Dr. Indelicato's note that knee MRI's/CT scans are no use for at least two months. Then in comes Dr. Berrey.
Now, I'll preface this by sharing that yes, I am a nerd. I hated being one when I was young, but it's actually done good by me these many years. So, I'm finally embracing my geekiness. Which is why, when I was going through radiation, I asked the radiologist techs loads of questions. I was, and am, genuinely curious about the whats, whys and hows of just about everything. And since Dr. Puffin is a new intern to Dr. Berrey's office and to my case, I was thrilled to be part of the learning process. So, this is what I learned from Dr. Berrey's mini-lecture to Dr. Puffin.
Which explains why I am so uncomfortable post-radiation. Why? Since the radiation treatments were so close to the surface, there are 2nd and 3rd degree burns on and around my right knee. (I am sure I've mentioned this in at least 2-3 posts, so bear with me as I repeat myself yet again.) They do not encompass the entire joint area. Rather they cover the front and right of the knee; about 8 inches long and 6 inches wide. And something I am learning about 2nd and 3rd degree burns. For those of us who have never experienced anything worse than a bad sunburn, this is far more painful and difficult. As the skin 'heals', it first has to die while the new skin develops - if it can. So, the radiated skin is stiffening making movement difficult. When the knee is flexed, this dead skin must stretch, which causes pain, can crack, peel off, bleed, etc. And the new skin underneath is still not ready for exposure. So, it's painful in and of itself. White blood cells come rushing in, which causes the oozing and seeping. And when the new, incomplete skin flexes, it too can crack and bleed. In addition to all this, there is swelling and all other sorts of damage that needs to heal.
In comes treatment such as Silvadene cream. This minimizes the risk of infection (which is at an all-time high for the developing skin) while assisting, albeit slowly, in the healing process. And because it's the knee, and because the joint has to be regularly exercised and flexed, there is no use covering or wrapping the wounds. And because there is dying skin and developing skin, the nerve receptors are exposed, which means the slightest breeze, bend, anything causes pain. And I mean, PAIN. And with pain and healing, the body goes into overdrive which causes additional fatigue. Lots of fatigue. Loads of fatigue.
So, though the fatigue is really cramping my style and I really want to get back to 'normal, here comes the bummer part. I am still working part-time and from home. Dr. Berrey doesn't want me back in the workplace until the burns heal. I asked Dr. Berrey about going into the office even one day a week, and he hesitated so long, I told him I got the message. Gotta minimize that risk of infection. It would do more harm than good to get something like a staph infection in my knee. Dr. Berrey told me I have to be patient and give my leg time to heal. I grinned back and replied that patience is not one of my virtues. He laughed and said that as long as I keep the twinkle in my eye, he is confident I could hold on.
Here's why, for me, it's a bummer; job security, paychecks and Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA). [For those unfamiliar with FMLA, this guarantees an employee's job (same or equal but different position) for up to 12 weeks in a 12 month period. It's unpaid leave. But if you've got STD, then you get some form of payment.] I have been out on leave, both full and part-time, since August 3. While I am currently covered under Short Term Disability and FMLA, these are finite. And my FMLA will be all used up by mid-December.
My boss was very considerate. He knows I'm chomping at the bit and I'm concerned about my job, but in his words "Follow the doctor's orders and get healthy. That is more important. We can manage the project work." And I trust my boss enough that I believe that if my job were at risk, he'd warn me in some way. He would rather I heal completely and come back without reservations than heal some, come in and have to go back out. So, I understand. But man!
So, here I am. Home for the duration, praying that this wonky knee will heal and I can get back into a 'normal' life by mid-December. In the meantime, it's work, rest, and whatever else to keep me busy during my waking hours. Oh, and trying to stay awake longer than 4 hours a pop!
It's one of those days where I don't really feel like writing a post but I really kinda want to. Thus, it's a conundrum day. Had the first good night's sleep in two weeks. I actually woke up sans the alarm clock. Thing was, I took some painkillers to deaden the knee pain and dozed off for another three hours. Oh well! At least I'm in a better mood today.
I saw Dr. Berrey Thursday. And I finally figured out that he's an Orthopedic Oncologist. On the whole, the appointment went well, but there were a few bummer moments. On the plus side, I got a chest x-ray, which came out clean. Whew! There are always a few tense moments when there is the possibility of a lung lesion. More so because my family history is fraught with lung issues - lung cancer, emphysema, collapsed lungs, asthma, and so on.
I met with a new intern, Dr. Puffin. Why is it that all male interns are drop dead gorgeous? I mean, Dr. Berrey, though in his late 50's is good looking himself. But he seems to get the serious eye candy interns. So, Dr. Puffin goes over my record. I regale him with what's been going on since radiation treatments were done, and I pass on Dr. Indelicato's note that knee MRI's/CT scans are no use for at least two months. Then in comes Dr. Berrey.
Now, I'll preface this by sharing that yes, I am a nerd. I hated being one when I was young, but it's actually done good by me these many years. So, I'm finally embracing my geekiness. Which is why, when I was going through radiation, I asked the radiologist techs loads of questions. I was, and am, genuinely curious about the whats, whys and hows of just about everything. And since Dr. Puffin is a new intern to Dr. Berrey's office and to my case, I was thrilled to be part of the learning process. So, this is what I learned from Dr. Berrey's mini-lecture to Dr. Puffin.
When a patient presents GCTTS in a joint, it's important that the Chief Radiologist be someone who not only specializes in soft tissue sarcomas, but also specializes in joints. The reason being that we want to preserve as much of the joint function as possible. And the Radiologist needs to be someone familiar with both so they can ensure the treatment preserves the function.The interpretation? Dr. Danny is such a Radiologist. Thus, the radiation treatments I received were mapped out to minimize joint damage (so I could retain almost complete use of my knee/leg). The radiation treatments were designed to go relatively deep in some points and on the surface at other points.
Which explains why I am so uncomfortable post-radiation. Why? Since the radiation treatments were so close to the surface, there are 2nd and 3rd degree burns on and around my right knee. (I am sure I've mentioned this in at least 2-3 posts, so bear with me as I repeat myself yet again.) They do not encompass the entire joint area. Rather they cover the front and right of the knee; about 8 inches long and 6 inches wide. And something I am learning about 2nd and 3rd degree burns. For those of us who have never experienced anything worse than a bad sunburn, this is far more painful and difficult. As the skin 'heals', it first has to die while the new skin develops - if it can. So, the radiated skin is stiffening making movement difficult. When the knee is flexed, this dead skin must stretch, which causes pain, can crack, peel off, bleed, etc. And the new skin underneath is still not ready for exposure. So, it's painful in and of itself. White blood cells come rushing in, which causes the oozing and seeping. And when the new, incomplete skin flexes, it too can crack and bleed. In addition to all this, there is swelling and all other sorts of damage that needs to heal.
In comes treatment such as Silvadene cream. This minimizes the risk of infection (which is at an all-time high for the developing skin) while assisting, albeit slowly, in the healing process. And because it's the knee, and because the joint has to be regularly exercised and flexed, there is no use covering or wrapping the wounds. And because there is dying skin and developing skin, the nerve receptors are exposed, which means the slightest breeze, bend, anything causes pain. And I mean, PAIN. And with pain and healing, the body goes into overdrive which causes additional fatigue. Lots of fatigue. Loads of fatigue.
So, though the fatigue is really cramping my style and I really want to get back to 'normal, here comes the bummer part. I am still working part-time and from home. Dr. Berrey doesn't want me back in the workplace until the burns heal. I asked Dr. Berrey about going into the office even one day a week, and he hesitated so long, I told him I got the message. Gotta minimize that risk of infection. It would do more harm than good to get something like a staph infection in my knee. Dr. Berrey told me I have to be patient and give my leg time to heal. I grinned back and replied that patience is not one of my virtues. He laughed and said that as long as I keep the twinkle in my eye, he is confident I could hold on.
Here's why, for me, it's a bummer; job security, paychecks and Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA). [For those unfamiliar with FMLA, this guarantees an employee's job (same or equal but different position) for up to 12 weeks in a 12 month period. It's unpaid leave. But if you've got STD, then you get some form of payment.] I have been out on leave, both full and part-time, since August 3. While I am currently covered under Short Term Disability and FMLA, these are finite. And my FMLA will be all used up by mid-December.
My boss was very considerate. He knows I'm chomping at the bit and I'm concerned about my job, but in his words "Follow the doctor's orders and get healthy. That is more important. We can manage the project work." And I trust my boss enough that I believe that if my job were at risk, he'd warn me in some way. He would rather I heal completely and come back without reservations than heal some, come in and have to go back out. So, I understand. But man!
So, here I am. Home for the duration, praying that this wonky knee will heal and I can get back into a 'normal' life by mid-December. In the meantime, it's work, rest, and whatever else to keep me busy during my waking hours. Oh, and trying to stay awake longer than 4 hours a pop!
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
A Discouraging Day
You know the saying "If you don't really want to know how a person is doing, don't ask?" Well, if you don't really want to know how today was, stop reading now.
I don't usually blog two days in a row, but today was just crappy enough, I need to vent. If you read my previous entry, you know my leg has been giving me grief. I've been trying to put a positive spin on it, but it's just not working. So, today my radiologist fit me in to check out my leg. And you know what he said? "It's actually looking good!" Are you kidding!? It's a brownish-red. Black dots pepper it representing all the hair follicles. It's spotty and weepy and crackly. I can't wear anything but dresses and shorts because it's covered in Silvadene cream. And it hurts to walk. It feels like the bones are turning to mush.
OK, enough complaining. Here's what Dr. Danny explained. Joints take longer to heal. You keep the appendage in the same position for a while and healing commences. Then you flex the appendage and what's healed breaks down again, thus more time to heal. So, more Silvadene - Dr. Danny swears it will work. Give it time. And more pain meds. If it's not feeling better within the week, it's back to the radiologist.
Upon reflection, I guess I was expecting to 'get up and go' once radiation was over. I should have paid attention to my own post! "Give it time." I was so excited to be done I started getting up and getting out. Obviously, too much too soon. So, it's back to resting the leg, flexing and sliding squats. No more traipsing around Target. It was just such a blow. I see the oncologist Thursday, and I was hoping I would get the green light to go back to work full-time. Now I'm really not sure. I'm frustrated and discouraged.
Then to top it all off, we had to euthanize one of our cats. Really, my daughter's cat, Miss Jennifer. She's been living at my mother-in-law's since I was pregnant with Gabe; about 7 years. And she was good company for my MIL. Her health, however, took such a downward turn the last several months. DD was working, so DH and I took Miss Jennifer to the vet.
I love my pets. Miss Jennifer, though she'd been living with Tillie for 7 years, was still ours in a sense. And it was just so sad to see. I was just so sad to have to do this. But it was for the best. She was in such pain. So, we picked her up and I loved on her all the way to the vet. DH wouldn't let me in with her for the euthanasia - I was "too upset." I just wanted Miss Jennifer to know she was loved and to be comforted as she took this final road. I was comforted that she acknowledged my loving and expressed her desire for more. So, I know she went peacefully. And yes, I do believe cats, too, go to Heaven, and I know she is in a much better place.
So, all told, it was a difficult, discouraging day. Tomorrow will come quicker than I am ready, but I am hoping it will be better. And I'm praying that I will be able to return to work soon. I miss being around people! I really need the interaction! And then maybe I won't be so excited about the little things like going for a ride to the gas station so DH can fill up the truck!
I don't usually blog two days in a row, but today was just crappy enough, I need to vent. If you read my previous entry, you know my leg has been giving me grief. I've been trying to put a positive spin on it, but it's just not working. So, today my radiologist fit me in to check out my leg. And you know what he said? "It's actually looking good!" Are you kidding!? It's a brownish-red. Black dots pepper it representing all the hair follicles. It's spotty and weepy and crackly. I can't wear anything but dresses and shorts because it's covered in Silvadene cream. And it hurts to walk. It feels like the bones are turning to mush.
OK, enough complaining. Here's what Dr. Danny explained. Joints take longer to heal. You keep the appendage in the same position for a while and healing commences. Then you flex the appendage and what's healed breaks down again, thus more time to heal. So, more Silvadene - Dr. Danny swears it will work. Give it time. And more pain meds. If it's not feeling better within the week, it's back to the radiologist.
Upon reflection, I guess I was expecting to 'get up and go' once radiation was over. I should have paid attention to my own post! "Give it time." I was so excited to be done I started getting up and getting out. Obviously, too much too soon. So, it's back to resting the leg, flexing and sliding squats. No more traipsing around Target. It was just such a blow. I see the oncologist Thursday, and I was hoping I would get the green light to go back to work full-time. Now I'm really not sure. I'm frustrated and discouraged.
Then to top it all off, we had to euthanize one of our cats. Really, my daughter's cat, Miss Jennifer. She's been living at my mother-in-law's since I was pregnant with Gabe; about 7 years. And she was good company for my MIL. Her health, however, took such a downward turn the last several months. DD was working, so DH and I took Miss Jennifer to the vet.
I love my pets. Miss Jennifer, though she'd been living with Tillie for 7 years, was still ours in a sense. And it was just so sad to see. I was just so sad to have to do this. But it was for the best. She was in such pain. So, we picked her up and I loved on her all the way to the vet. DH wouldn't let me in with her for the euthanasia - I was "too upset." I just wanted Miss Jennifer to know she was loved and to be comforted as she took this final road. I was comforted that she acknowledged my loving and expressed her desire for more. So, I know she went peacefully. And yes, I do believe cats, too, go to Heaven, and I know she is in a much better place.
So, all told, it was a difficult, discouraging day. Tomorrow will come quicker than I am ready, but I am hoping it will be better. And I'm praying that I will be able to return to work soon. I miss being around people! I really need the interaction! And then maybe I won't be so excited about the little things like going for a ride to the gas station so DH can fill up the truck!
Dia Feliz de los Muertos!!
Happy Halloween! Or rather - Día feliz de los muertos (Happy day of the dead - November 1st)!
Ah, Halloween. The eve when kiddies young and not so young dress up and go traipsing around neighborhoods getting pranked, or giving pranks, and nabbing oodles upon oodles of candy, candy, candy. Then upon return, parents and older siblings field said goodies saving much of the best for themselves. As it was years gone by, so it was again this year. And the pillow case was stretched to its limit. It being a school night, only a few choice tidbits were scarfed down before Tow Mater (what Gabe went as this year) was toted off to bed.
The pickings were quite good this year - depending on your taste. There were Airheads, Pixi Sticks, Skittles, Reeses, Butterfingers, Tootsie Rolls (my personal fave) and the obligatory hard candy (which usually goes into the trash after about 4 months). DH took Gabe Trick or Treating while Chris and I stayed home making the pillowcases of many children very happy.
A friend of mine and her daughter dropped by earlier in the evening and we had such fun. Basically it was laugh at Julie night because she really needs to get out of the house more! Well, 3 months of recuperation will do that to a person! I'm way past cabin fever! Sort of in the nuthouse zone. I've got 5 or 6 craft projects going, 7 books I'm reading, and I'm trying new recipes on my victi-, er, family. That's not to say I've got oodles of time on my hands. I am still sleeping roughly 12 hours a day. My irradiated leg is one hot mess. It looks and feels nasty and is causing me some serious pain. DH says that's all down to it healing. If this is healing, then what were the previous 3 months! And I'm working 4 hour work days through all of this. I fatigue easily. I can be up for 3-4 hours and then sleep very soundly for 3 hours, up for 3, down for 3, then sleep about 9 hours at night! Say, I may actually be sleeping 14 hours a day! All I can say is there ain't much time for me to do anything cause I'm always sleeping. But I try.
Thursday is my next appointment. Up to now I've been thinking I'll be back to work full-time any day. But now I'm not so sure. I've posted a pic of my leg (taken yesterday - not for the queasy) at the bottom of the post. Not only is it butt ugly, it hurst more now than it did 2 months ago! I dare not wear pants because I don't want anything touching the sore spots, but really, it's the bone that hurts. Haley saw it for the first time since my surgery today, and I explained it like this: You know when you cook a microwave dinner? The directions say to heat for 3 minutes than leave it in for 2 minutes. The 3 minutes are to start the cooking process, and it continues to cook in the other 2 minutes. Well, my leg was cooked for 6 weeks in the microwave. And it's still cooking. You know? I kinda like that analogy. I didn't really understand the part on the microwave directions of leaving it in the oven for 2 more minutes until now. Makes sense all of a sudden.
So, we'll see what the doctor says. But one thing is certain. I have to get out of the house more!!!!
A few comments about the knee. Flexing it is much harder now because not only is the scar tissue multiplying like rabbits, but every time I flex more skin cracks, flakes, etc. And even just side-swiping the knee by accident can cause skin to peel off like a sunburn. So, there are some scabby parts. There are where skin has peeled or cracked off. I am putting Silvadine (a cream from the radiologist) on those parts and along the scar as the scar is really dry and cracking and peeling. See how the skin is so dark? It wasn't near that bad when I first stopped radiation. I can onlhy guess it's that cooking from the inside out effect. The inside of the leg was sunburned, and the outside is now cooking. Not a pretty site. I am much more self-conscious going out in public now because I can't cover it. Too difficult. I've tried several different ways but the bandages keep falling off, and I have to keep the wrappings loose. So, it's cream and air for now. Yuck.
Ah, Halloween. The eve when kiddies young and not so young dress up and go traipsing around neighborhoods getting pranked, or giving pranks, and nabbing oodles upon oodles of candy, candy, candy. Then upon return, parents and older siblings field said goodies saving much of the best for themselves. As it was years gone by, so it was again this year. And the pillow case was stretched to its limit. It being a school night, only a few choice tidbits were scarfed down before Tow Mater (what Gabe went as this year) was toted off to bed.
The pickings were quite good this year - depending on your taste. There were Airheads, Pixi Sticks, Skittles, Reeses, Butterfingers, Tootsie Rolls (my personal fave) and the obligatory hard candy (which usually goes into the trash after about 4 months). DH took Gabe Trick or Treating while Chris and I stayed home making the pillowcases of many children very happy.
A friend of mine and her daughter dropped by earlier in the evening and we had such fun. Basically it was laugh at Julie night because she really needs to get out of the house more! Well, 3 months of recuperation will do that to a person! I'm way past cabin fever! Sort of in the nuthouse zone. I've got 5 or 6 craft projects going, 7 books I'm reading, and I'm trying new recipes on my victi-, er, family. That's not to say I've got oodles of time on my hands. I am still sleeping roughly 12 hours a day. My irradiated leg is one hot mess. It looks and feels nasty and is causing me some serious pain. DH says that's all down to it healing. If this is healing, then what were the previous 3 months! And I'm working 4 hour work days through all of this. I fatigue easily. I can be up for 3-4 hours and then sleep very soundly for 3 hours, up for 3, down for 3, then sleep about 9 hours at night! Say, I may actually be sleeping 14 hours a day! All I can say is there ain't much time for me to do anything cause I'm always sleeping. But I try.
Thursday is my next appointment. Up to now I've been thinking I'll be back to work full-time any day. But now I'm not so sure. I've posted a pic of my leg (taken yesterday - not for the queasy) at the bottom of the post. Not only is it butt ugly, it hurst more now than it did 2 months ago! I dare not wear pants because I don't want anything touching the sore spots, but really, it's the bone that hurts. Haley saw it for the first time since my surgery today, and I explained it like this: You know when you cook a microwave dinner? The directions say to heat for 3 minutes than leave it in for 2 minutes. The 3 minutes are to start the cooking process, and it continues to cook in the other 2 minutes. Well, my leg was cooked for 6 weeks in the microwave. And it's still cooking. You know? I kinda like that analogy. I didn't really understand the part on the microwave directions of leaving it in the oven for 2 more minutes until now. Makes sense all of a sudden.
So, we'll see what the doctor says. But one thing is certain. I have to get out of the house more!!!!
A few comments about the knee. Flexing it is much harder now because not only is the scar tissue multiplying like rabbits, but every time I flex more skin cracks, flakes, etc. And even just side-swiping the knee by accident can cause skin to peel off like a sunburn. So, there are some scabby parts. There are where skin has peeled or cracked off. I am putting Silvadine (a cream from the radiologist) on those parts and along the scar as the scar is really dry and cracking and peeling. See how the skin is so dark? It wasn't near that bad when I first stopped radiation. I can onlhy guess it's that cooking from the inside out effect. The inside of the leg was sunburned, and the outside is now cooking. Not a pretty site. I am much more self-conscious going out in public now because I can't cover it. Too difficult. I've tried several different ways but the bandages keep falling off, and I have to keep the wrappings loose. So, it's cream and air for now. Yuck.
This is from 10/30
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