Wow! It has been busy since I last posted! First off, I am back at work full-time. I had a month to work mornings at work and afternoons at home, but that was just too hard. When you live 30 minutes from work, the drive home and the subsequent battle between the children and work is not worth the effort. So, while the boys were on Christmas break I took the plunge and started back to full days.
I won't say it was easy. Because it wasn't. I was exhausted by the time I got home for the day. But it felt great being back in the workplace. Some coworkers had come and gone, the company had reorganized, and other changes were apparent. But I was good with it all. I think going back to work at the height of holiday season was actually a really, really good decision. Many folks were out on vacation so I had two weeks to get in the groove, catch up on emails, re-orient myself to my projects. It was like I was slowly waking up.
And I still am. The fatigue is wearing off; just not fast enough for me. And the fatigue affects my memory, which I really need in the workplace. And I don't think I will be running a marathon anytime soon. At the beginning of the year I started walking the stairs - 1-2 flights at a time. I'm slow either way. Bursitis in my knee, and just the scarring and all make me feel awkward. So, I take my time. But at least I can take the stairs now! I just hope we don't have a fire drill anytime soon! I work on the 15th floor, and walking down 15 flights of stairs is NOT FUN.
Just before the end of 2011 we were able to squeeze in my first three month check-up. I had an MRI on my right leg (knee and ankle) and a chest CT scan. As I've written before, GCTTS typically metastasizes to the lungs. So, chest x-rays and CT scans are mine for the foreseeable future. And yes, the CT scan and MRI were both contrast. And no, Valium did NOT help me through them! Trust me. I took a healthy dose and I was still hyperventilating when they had to do the IV!
I've not had many x-rays in my life. So, all of this is new to me. And what I learned is that the contrast from a CT scan must be fully out of the body before the contrast for a MRI can be administered. So, I went in on a Tuesday (1:00 PM) for the CT scan. Then I had to go back Wednesday (2:00 PM) for the MRI.
Oh, and did you know a knee MRI is separate from an ankle MRI? Sounds sane doesn't it. Makes sense...until you realize that what would ordinarily be a 45 minute MRI is now a 90 minute MRI!!! And that is why I say the Valium? Did not one thing for me. I had no idea I would be in "the chamber of doom" for 90 minutes. Unable to move, flinch, twitch, do anything. I couldn't even move my arms! O.M.G. The only saving grace was that my head wasn't in the tube. Otherwise I would have totally freaked - claustrophobia. You know what helped? Deep breathing exercises. In through the mouth, out through the nose. Go to my "happy place." But I was kinda freaked already so I couldn't quite make it to my happy place. So, I pretty much just concentrated on breathing. In. Out. In. Out. I focused on the quality of the breathing. Anything to avoid looking at the tube opening 4 inches from my nose!
The best part of the experience was that I got preliminary the results two days later! Knee - beautimus. Ankle - nothing there (whew!). Chest - a small calcification in the right middle lobe. Not too concerned about it. Two doctors said it could be from a past experience with pneumonia or other lung illness. And I had several of those when I was younger. But what it does mean is that my next 3 month check-up includes another chest CT scan in addition to plain old x-rays of my chest and knee. No MRI for the knee in this next 3 month check-up. Trying to keep the radiation exposure minimized. But if the lung calcification changes in any way, shape or form, then I'm back in the hospital to get that baby taken out. STAT. You know what, though? I'm not worried. And my doctors are experienced, and I trust them. Plus, I do my homework.
Oh, and the knee's appearance? It is official. I have a permanent tan on and around my right knee. It will never go away. And that's ok. It is my battle scar and I am proud of it. I still don't have sensation on the right side (outside) of my knee. It may come back. It may not. But at least I can walk, flex, do what I could BC (before cancer).
So, I'd say the new year has started off on a positive note. Life is less stressful. I am finally taking things more slowly and not sweating the small stuff - too much. I have made some changes. Started eating healthier. I'm taking Pilates (much easier on the knee than Yoga). Going to bed earlier - most nights. And spending more quality time with my family. Who could ask for anything more?
